Returns and Departures
by A. Leanne Vast
Summary: A Rush Of The Blood To The Head Series: Series 1, Episode 1. I started this before seeing 7.21. So, now this is my version of Cas getting his sanity back and the conversation he has with Dean afterward. Cas tries to explain himself about why he did what he did, but Dean won't hear it. (Recently Updated)
1. Fix You

**A/N: Welcome to my new(ly revamped) series, A Rush of Blood to The Head (As in the song/album by Coldplay).**

**This is kind of an AU. It all starts with how I think Cas should have been brought back.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**P.S. I originally wrote this right after 7.17, and when I re-wrote it, I just decided to stick with how it went.**

**Also, Castiel's thoughts will be** UNDERLINED**, Dean's thoughts will be **_ITALICIZED_**, and Sam's thoughts will be BOLD.**

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**A Rush of Blood to the Head: Series One**

**Episode One: Returns and Departures**

**Part One: ****_Fix You_*******

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Castiel laid beneath the scratchy white shits, on his crappy little bed, in his tiny little room. Although the angel was comatose, he could still hear his brother Lucifer's voice echoing in his head.

"Come on baby brother, talk to me! Talk to me talk to me talk to me!" Lucifer stomped his foot, pouting. "Caaaaas. Oh Caaaas. Come on Ca-"

Two fingers pressed against the angel's forehead, and Lucifer stopped mid-sentence.

"Wake-y wake-y little brother. Time to rise and shine!"

Castiel opened his eyes. He looked to the figure standing to the left of his bed. His eyes widened, and his expression turned to that of confusion.

"...Gabriel?"

The Archangel smiled. "Howdy little brother! Long-time no-see...apparently."

The younger angel was deeply confused. He shook his head, "This must be a trick, you are still Lucifer." Castiel turned away from the hallucination claiming to be another one of his brothers.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Cas, it's me." Castiel did not respond. Gabriel huffed. "Look, Castiel, Lucifer never lies. It's... an issue of his and you know it. So, when I tell you that I _am _Gabriel, you should believe me. And that's what I'm telling you, I am the Archangel Gabriel, Messenger of God, and I just _fixed_ your ass."

Castiel turned back towards his brother and sat up. "It's really you?" He asked in disbelief.

Again Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Yeah, dummy, it's really me."

Castiel got off the bed and embraced his brother. He let out a barely audible sigh. "Thank you."

Gabriel patted his brother's back awkwardly. "Yeah, sure thing little bro."

Castiel separated himself from his brother, holding on to the shorter Angel's biceps. He looked his believed-to-be-dead brother up and down. "But I don't understand. How are you alive?"

The Archangel shrugged. "I guess Dad brought me back. I mean, who else has the power to bring back and Archangel?"

That must mean Father does still care. "How did you find me? Why are you here?"

"The answer to your first question is that you're my brother. The answer to your second question is that after I ... was again, I figured you would be the one to ask what's happened, seeing as how you were kind of smack-dab in the middle of everything last I knew."

Castiel thought of what had happened since Gabriel had died; what he himself had done. He frowned. "Much has happened. I have done ... a great deal of damage to this world. And what I did to Heaven was just, unspeakable. And unforgivable."

Gabriel had noticed what was done to Heaven, but he still loved Castiel as he did all of his other brothers and sisters. So, when the Archangel saw the pain in his brother's eyes, he gave him a reassuring smile. "How about we talk about that later?" He clapped Castiel on the back. "Now, come on! We've got Winchesters to surprise!"

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***Fix You is a song by Coldplay.**


	2. The Boys Are Back In Town

**A/N: Sorry, the chapters kind of vary in length. Whoops ;-P**

**Fyi, Gabriel's thoughts are **_UNDERLINED and ITALICIZED_

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**Series One, Episode One, Part Two**

**The Boys Are Back In Town***

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The Winchesters had just arrived back at their motel room at after finishing a case. Sam opened the door and abruptly came to a halt. Dean, being right behind him, slammed full force into the Sasquatch.

"What the-? Sam? What are you..?" Dean's eyes widened when he discovered what had stopped his brother dead in his tracks.

Castiel and Gabriel.

"Dean! Sammy! It is So good to see you both again," Gabriel announced a little too loudly as he went to bear-hug the Winchesters. The brothers were too shocked to stop him.

"Wh-what?" Sam stammered.

"What are you two doing here?" Dean asked them both. "Cas, are you-"

"Sane? It would appear so." The Angel nodded to his brother, "Gabriel fixed me."

Sam was still stuck on the Gabriel-being-alive part. "Gabriel? I, I thought you were dead?"

"Well, you thought right Sammy." He shrugged, "I guess Dad brought me back."

Gabriel saw the way that his brother and the elder hunter looked at each other and decided they needed some alone time. "So, Sammy, how about you fill me in on what I've missed?"

"Uh-"

Gabriel angel-zapped behind Sam and yanked the giant out of the room by his shirt. The Archangel teleported Dean away from the door, then angel-mojo'd it closed. He whispered to Sam on the other side of the door, "I think they need some time to chat."

After Sam took a few moments to recover from being dragged out of the room like a rag-doll, he nodded in agreement and took Gabriel to the all-night diner down the street to catch him up on what's he had missed - the good and the bad.

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The younger Winchester and the Archangel ended up talking until the early morning. When Sam had finished, Gabriel put his head in his hands.

"Cassy, Cassy, Cassy." He looked up, "That poor kid! He must feel awful. No wonder the kid went all emo on me in that nut house." Gabriel sighed. "You guys must have been pretty upset."

"I guess you could say that. But after what he did for me," Sam shook his head, "I just couldn't be mad at him anymore."

"Yeah, but it probably broke Dean's heart."

Sam looked at the Archangel quizzically, "Uh, yeah, I guess."

Gabriel sipped his Coke. "You mean you don't know?"

Hunh? "Don't know what?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, _Idiot!_

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***_The Boys Are Back In Town_ is a song by Thin Lizzy.**


	3. Hurt

**A/N: This chapter might be painful for some viewers, but this is basically part one of me trying to justify Cas's actions and Dean's response to those actions. Basically, this is me attempting to fix Sera Gamble's mess, or justify it, or what have you. So I would really appreciate some feedback on it.**

**I would also like to give a big thanks and credit to my dad for both beta-ing and helping me write this chapter. (Thank goodness I have a psychiatrist for a father that also happens to be a fan of Supernatural.) He helped me alot with Cas's side of the dialogue, both in wording and in character insight.**

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**Series One, Episode One, Part Three**

**_Hurt_*******

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"Hello Dean." The Angel of Thursday was glad to see the hunter again.

"Cas? Wha-how? And Gabriel?" Dean was still confused how Cas could possibly be better, and in shock that Gabriel was alive.

"Gabriel believes it was Father that brought him back, and after he was resurrected, he came looking for me. When he located me, he ... fixed me, my mind that is."

Dean gave the angel a half-smile, "Good. I'm glad you're okay."

"Thank you Dean."

Dean could see that Cas wanted to tell him something. "What is it, Cas?"

Cas looked hesitant. "I, I would like to finish the conversation we were having."

Dean had no idea what Castiel was referring to. "What conversation?"

Cas's eyes flickered to the floor, then back to Dean while he shifted his stance. "The conversation you, Sam, Bobby, and I were having when you trapped me in the ring of holy fire. I feel that my ... reasoning wasn't heard."

The hunter shook his head, "No, Cas, I really don't want to do that, okay?"

But the Angel was determined. "Dean, please. I need you to hear what I have to say."

Dean really did not want to go there. Every part of him screamed 'No, Cas, I don't want to talk about it'. But instead Dean nodded and told the Angel, "Fine."

Again Cas shifted his feet and briefly looked to the floor before meeting the hunter's eyes. "I do regret and am greatly ashamed of what I have done, all the lives I have taken. But the plan that I came up with was the only one I could think of because you weren't there to help me."

Dean narrowed his eyes, "After everything you've done for me, what made you think that I wasn't there for you? You could have talked to me, Cas, why didn't you?"

Rage began to boil in the Angel's chest. "I kept trying to Dean! I thought I made it obvious when every time I saw you I told you that the situation in Heaven was dire!" Cas sharply breathed in, then let it out in a huff. "Remember how you told me that 'when crap like this comes around, we deal with it, like we always have'? Then I asked you where you were when I needed to hear that? You said that you were there," Cas shook his head, "but you weren't!"

"You could have asked for my help!"

"No, Dean, I couldn't! I couldn't ask you directly. You're a human; I'm an angel. It's not supposed to be right for an Angel of the Lord to ask a human with a celestial problem! You have to offer it! Besides, it would have gone against everything that has been drilled into me since I was created; against everything Father told us! He told us to _love_ humans, to bow down to _you_, to protect _you_, to watch over_ you_! I still wanted to protect _you_! I still believe that I'm supposed to look after you Dean, _not_ the other way around!"

"But you're my friend, Cas. You could have asked for my help! I still think we would have found another way. If we'd worked together. I just don't understand why you didn't ask."

"You're not listening Dean! I couldn't do it directly, but I did ask for your help and you just didn't notice! I tried to ask the only way I could, but you didn't care about helping me! All you cared about was you and your little Earthly problems! You just used me to make your life easier! You never asked about the situation in Heaven! You never asked me if I needed help. You weren't there when I needed you Dean. That's why I saw no other way around it!"

"So, what? You're saying because you _thought_ that you couldn't come to me, it's all my fault?"

"No Dean! I'm saying that I_ tried_ to come to you!"

"Well I guess you just didn't try hard enough."

Cas was in disbelief; he tilted then shook his head, "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

Dean put his hand through his short hair as he turned away, his anger making him unable to look at the Angel any longer. The hunter walked over to his bed and sat facing away from Cas. He put his head in his hands. "I can't do this Cas. Please, just go."

Cas went against Dean once, he was not about to do it again, so he left.

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***_Hurt_ is a song that used to be sung by the former Johnny Cash.**


	4. O Brother Where Art Thou?

**A/N: Special thanks to those of you who gave me my first reviews: vsama, Late Night Author, La Suka, Stefanswifey01, and Kitty Black Cat.**

**On a similar note: Please please please review! I promise to send lovely thank you notes to the people that do!**

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**Series One, Episode One, Part Four**

**O, Brother Where Art Thou?***

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Sam and Gabriel got back to the motel early in the morning. Dean was sitting at the small red kitchen table, staring at his coffee mug that had 'Yummy' written on the side. Sam could recognize that his brother was both sulking and steaming.

"Where's my brother," Gabriel asked cautiously.

"Gone," the hunter answered simply before sipping his coffee.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Crap," he said bitterly, then vanished with a flutter.

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Castiel was sitting by a stream on the other side of the world, watching as the water rolled past him. With all he did to Heaven, he felt he could not go back there, so he decided to take solace somewhere on Earth that was nowhere near the Winchesters. Nowhere near Dean. But the distance did not stop the Angel from replaying his conversation with the hunter over and over in his mind.

Gabriel sat down next to his brother. The two exchanged a glance. "He told me to stay away," the younger angel informed his brother.

The Archangel patted his brother on the back. "I heard. Sorry bro. I know how much the Winchester means to you."

Cas did not realize exactly what his brother was speaking of, but he did not dwell on it. "He got angry at me because I told him I did what I did because he wasn't there to help me."

"Yeah, well, I always knew Dean was an idiotic asshole."

"Dean isn't..." Cas was too angry and did not have the energy to really defend Dean to his brother. Instead he kept his gaze on the stream in front of him, still playing the scene over in his mind, thinking maybe if he had explained himself better, Dean would have understood.

Gabriel heard Cas's thoughts and sighed, "I truly doubt that little brother. I think he needs some time for your words to sink in. Hopefully he'll come around to at least understand your point of view later."

Castiel hoped his brother was right. He did not like Dean being mad at him, even when he himself was frustrated with the hunter.

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Sam had his hands on hips and wearing a pretty mean bitchface. "Dean, what happened with Cas?" He was worried that his brother had said something stupid to the Angel.

"I don't want to talk about it, Sam," Dean said calmly, but his voice was deeper than normal. It told Sam that there was something sorrowful behind his brother's words.

"Dean-"

"Fine. We had an argument, I told him to stay away for a while. That's it."

"You told Cas to what?"

"You heard me," Dean said gruffly, "Now I don't want to talk about this anymore!"

"But Dean-"

"But nothing, Sam. I said I don't want to talk about it anymore, so just shut up about it."

Dean was too angry for Sam to pry anything more out of his brother without risking life and limb, so he let it go. But it was not in Sam Winchester's nature to give up; he needed to know what happened with Cas.

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***O, Brother Where Art Thou? was a movie starring George Clooney. It was a "modern" adaptation of Homer's The Odyssey. We watched it in my ninth grade English class, and if I remember right, I thought it sucked.**

**~Continue the story with the next episode, When You Come Back Down~**


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